Jesus versus Mohammad

The Quran has demoted Jesus from the second member of the Trinity to less than Mohammad! While Jesus in both the New Testament and the Quran is acknowledged to have been sinless and without any character flaws, the Quran admits Mohammad is sinful.

Furthermore, Islamic texts admit Mohammad had a character that was exceedingly unfavorable, and so, he is excluded on the basis of his shockingly amoral and opportunistic character from even being considered a prophet.

Islam’s original sources reveal that he was a plagiarist, a con artist, a highwayman, a liar, an assassin, a pedophile, a shameless womanizer, a promiscuous, cheating husband, a rapist, an enslaver, a genocidal mass murderer, a desert pirate and extorting racketeer, a psychopathic warmonger, an anti-Semite, an intolerant bigot, a spineless coward, and a calculating and ruthless tyrant. This portrait is certainly not the character profile of the founder of a true religion, but that of an amoral cultist, mob boss and scheming politician.

Mohammad’s contemporaries called him a madman, a demon-possessed fortune-teller and a magician. His own followers called him an immoral womanizer. A hadith says when he died all women were ‘licit’ to him. Moreover, he lay in the grave of his aunt’s dead corpse overnight. He wore women’s clothing when he received Quranic inspiration. He kissed the tongues of little children and nuzzled in the chest of his young daughter Fatimah. As a 54 year old man he had sex with a nine year old girl. Mohammad had many of his critics tortured and brutally slaughtered. He commanded mass murders of unarmed villagers who didn’t support his new religion. Mohammad lived by extortion and theft. He and his followers became wealthy through plunder.

To present Jesus as less than such an amoral warlord, highwayman and victimizer is indeed insulting to Jesus.

A reasoning person cannot see the moral superiority of Mohammad to Jesus. To the contrary, when compared to Jesus, Mohammad is seen as the most obvious false prophet in history.

Muslims always asks Christians “Where did Jesus say .....”

 

Muslims always asks Christians “Where did Jesus say .....”

It's beyond human comprehension and intelligence, that Muslims harbour so much hatred for Christians, Jews and other religions.  In Islam, all non-Muslims are called unbelievers or infidels. The treatment of the infidels in Islam is divided into two categories. The polytheists, pagans, idolaters and heathens have the choice of converting to Islam or suffer death. The Jews and Christians, whom the Quran calls people of the book, can retain their religion but on the sufferance of accepting humiliation and subjugation to Islam and payment of Jizyah (poll-tax) to the Islamic rulers.  As such, I challenge ANY Muslim to deny this and explain me otherwise.  Many Muslims I've debated thus far always keep advising me to read their Quran which by the way, I've done 3 times... yes I as a Christian have read the entire 114 Suras in the Quran 3 times.  However, reading the Quran is not enough in order to understand Islam, one must also read the "Prophetic Sunnah" which in layman's terms are the commands, prohibitions, sayings, actions and tacit approvals of Muhammed and ......... the interpretation of the Quran.  The Sunnah of Muhammad was established during his life for all to follow and to pass on for generations.  The Sunnah is the second primary source of the doctrine of Islam, the Quran being the first. They go hand in hand to complete the beliefs and practices all Muslims are to follow. 

Then you have the Hadith which is very similar to Sunnah, but not identical. A hadith is a narration about the life of Mohammed or what he approved - as opposed to his life itself, which is the Sunnah as already mentioned.    The collection of Hadiths are as follows:  Sahih al-Bukhari;  Sahih Muslim;  Sunan an-Nasa'i;  Sunan Abi Dawud;  Jami` at-Tirmidhi;  Sunan Ibn Majah;  Muwatta Malik;  40 Hadith Nawawi;  Riyad as-Salihin;  Al-Adab Al-Mufrad;  40 Hadith Qudsi;  hama'il Muhammadiyah and Bulugh al-Maram

Hence, to be a good Muslim one must read, understand and strictly adhere to the explicit teachings of the Quran and the “Prophetic Sunnah” as well as the Hadiths.

 So, do Muslims believe the Quran to be God’s “literal” word? Yes and No.

 Yes, in the sense that the Quran is seen as representing the exact words of the original text as revealed by God.

And No, in the sense that the Quran is not a book that is devoid of metaphor and allegory. What would be more correct then is to say that Muslims believe the Quran to be “God’s immutable word” because they believe it to be unchanging over time and unable to be changed.

I know, I know. My Muslim friends will say that even this change in definition is not enough. They say the Quran is used by violent terrorists, and “Moderate Muslim” claims of the Quran being misinterpreted just don’t cut it. Even if “Moderate Muslims” accept their own interpretations, until all Muslims around the world accept these interpretations, then they are useless.

 Muslims that label themselves as “Moderate” can be summarized in a few bullet points:

• Muslims believe in the Quran as “God’s literal word” and this you say needs to stop
• Muslims claim that the Quran is misinterpreted, while terrorist groups around the world use the same text to justify violence; this you claim, shows that something is missing.
• Claims that the Quran contains metaphor, allegory, and is an interpreted document are just unacceptable, because unless all Muslims around the world accept these interpretations, then no one can accept them.
• The only way past all of this is to admit that the Quran is an errant document, can be changed or discarded, and for Muslims to adhere not to an ideological identity but instead to a community identity.

To me there is no such thing as radical Muslims and Moderate Muslims and I am  not saying this to denigrate nice, law-abiding Muslims… I’m saying this because of the overwhelming amount of evidence that orthodox Islamic teachings are in line with what we call “radical Islam.”

 

So, what I mean to say is this -- while Millions of Muslims may not be killing their non-Muslim neighbors, or their gay neighbors, or their neighbors who’ve converted away from Islam, these same people believe that if these neighbors were executed, that wouldn’t be a big deal.

 

Why? Because the Quran and Sharia Law explicitly call for these punishments! Gay people are supposed to be executed. Adulterers are supposed to be stoned. Converts away from Islam are supposed to be killed. Anyone saying anything negative about Islam, Allah, or Mohammed is supposed to put to death! And I could go on and on

 

Don’t believe me? Well, how about if the leader of “moderate Muslims” in Europe told you? Here’s a video of Fahad Qureshi [Cntrl Click the name in red to view the video] the founder of Islam Net, and a leader in Norway’s Muslim community basically repeating what I just said. He was speaking to a group of Sunni Muslims at a conference in November of 2013.  He says that these speakers are not “extreme” at all! The common Muslim shares the same beliefs as the Muslim that the western media labels “extreme.” To highlight this, he had the Muslims in attendance raise their hands if they agreed with some of the “extreme” beliefs that the media seemed to be bothered by. The crowd overwhelmingly agreed.

Hence, I can undoubtedly say, there is no such thing as “moderate” or “radical” Muslims. There are only Muslims.

 

And it’s not me, it’s the Quran, the Sunnah and the Hadiths and it’s the Muslims in this video who are trying to explain this to you. And by the way, there are tons of websites and videos posted by imams of all shades and colours that echo the same message.

 

Any Muslim denying the above would, according to the Quran, Sunnah and Hadiths would be denying the authenticity of the Quran, Sunnah and Hadiths and thereby, denying Mohammed.

 

Let’s take a look what happens when a Muslim and Christian discuss their respective religion.  Muslims always ask Christians where did Jesus say “I am GOD”?  Yes... I have been asked this question many times.  Here’s what my understanding of the Quran and Hadith shows me:

The Quran commands Christians to judge by the Gospel:

“Let the people of the Gospel judge by what Allah hath revealed therein. If any do fail to judge by (the light of) what Allah hath revealed, they are (no better than) those who rebel.”  - [Quran Surah Al-Ma'idah 5:47]

Thus, when Christians present their beliefs, it makes sense for Muslims to ask, “Could you show us where the Bible says that?”  Christians should therefore be eager to present evidence from the Gospel, because Muslims cannot condemn us for doing what the Quran commands. Indeed, since the Quran (Quran Surah Al-Ma'idah 5:43) affirms not only the Gospel, but also the Torah, Muslims cannot ignore what the Bible says without thereby rebelling against Islam.

When debating or discussing about Jesus and Christianity with Muslims anywhere, the first question they always ask Christians, “Where did Jesus say, ‘I am God, worship me,’ in those exact words?”  However, if Muslims suggest that Jesus could only claim to be God by uttering a specific sentence, we may reply by asking them, “Where did Jesus say, ‘I am only a prophet, don’t worship me,’ in those exact words?” The unreasonable demand for a particular statement, if applied consistently, would thus force Muslims to reject their own view!

Fortunately, there is a simple way to examine what Jesus said about himself. According to both the Bible and the Quran, there are certain claims that only God can truly make. For instance, God alone can correctly state that he created the universe. Of course, a mere human being can pronounce the words, “I created the universe,” but the statement would be false coming from anyone other than God.

Hence, if Jesus said things that can only truly be said by God, we must conclude that Jesus claimed to be God. Interestingly, Jews, Christians, and Muslims agree on many of the claims that cannot be properly made by (or about) mere human beings.

When we look at Islamic teachings/doctrines, Muhammad said: 'To God belongs 99 names, 100 minus 1, anyone who memorizes them will enter Paradise; He (God) is odd (odd number, he is the Only One), and He loves odd numbers (such as 99)'

Hence the GOD of Islam has 99 names.  Each name is equal to the other. 

Therefore, if Jesus claimed any of those 99 names than He is the true Messiah and the Son of God.

I am sure that no Muslim on earth can deny this because their Quran proclaims what Jesus said about Himself.

So, now let us consider a just few of these.

QURAN

One of the names of the God of Islam is AL HAQQ.  Al Haqq is a Quranic Arabic word meaning TRUTH.  Surahs (6:62) (22:6) (23:116) (31:30)

 

BIBLE

Jesus saith unto him, I am the way, the TRUTH, and the life: no man cometh unto the Father, but by me.  [John 14:6]

 Can Muslims deny that the name of God is the TRUTH (Al Haqq)?  I challenge any Muslim to deny that.

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QURAN

Another name for God in Islam is AL AWWAL and AL-ÂKHIR.  Al Awwal and Al Akhir are Quranic Arablic words meaning the FIRST and the LAST or ALPHA and OMEGA. (Surah Al-Hadid 57:3]

 

BIBLE

Who hath wrought and done it, calling the generations from the beginning? I the LORD, THE FIRST, and with THE LAST; I am He.  [Isaiah 41:4]

I am ALPHA and OMEGA, the BEGINNING and the END, the FIRST and the LAST. [Revelation 22:13]

Can Muslims deny any of the above (Al Awwal and Al Akhir)?  I challenge any Muslim to deny that.

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QURAN

Another name for God in Islam is AL-BÂ'ITH.  Al Ba’ith is a Quranic Arablic word meaning RESURRECTION.  [Surah Al-Hajj 22:7]

 

BIBLE

Jesus said unto her, I am the RESURRECTION, and the life: he that believeth in me, though he were dead, yet shall he live:

And whosoever liveth and believeth in me shall never die. Believest thou this?

[John 11: 25-26]

Can Muslims deny that the name of God is the RESURRECTION (Al Ba’ith)?  I challenge any Muslim to deny that.

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 QURAN

Another name for God in Islam is AL MALIK.  Al Malik is an Quranic Arablic word meaning the KING OF KINGS. Surahs (20:114)(23:116)(59:23)(62:1)(114:2)

 

BIBLE

These shall make war with the Lamb, and the Lamb shall overcome them: for he is LORD OF LORDS, and KING OF KINGS: and they that are with him are called, and chosen, and faithful. [Revelation 17:14]

Can Muslims deny that the name of God is the KING OF KINGS (Al Malik)?  I challenge any Muslim to deny that.

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QURAN

Another name for God in Islam is AL-HÂDÎ .  Al Hadi is an Quranic Arablic word meaning the THE GUIDE or DOOR or PATH. [Surah Al-Furqan 25:31]

 

BIBLE

I am the DOOR: by me if any man enter in, he shall be saved, and shall go in and out, and find pasture. [John 10:9]

Can Muslims deny that the name of God is the GUIDE or DOOR or PATH (Al HADI)?  I challenge any Muslim to deny that.

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QURAN

Another name for God in Islam is AL NUR.  Al Hadi is an Quranic Arablic word meaning the THE LIGHT. [Surah An-Nur 24:35]

 

BIBLE

Then spake Jesus again unto them, saying, I am THE LIGHT of the world: he that followeth me shall not walk in darkness, but shall have THE LIGHT OF LIFE. [John 8:12]

Can Muslims deny that the name of God is the LIGHT (Al Nur)?  I challenge any Muslim to deny that.

---

 

As David Wood so eloquently said many times during his debates with Muslim scholars: “Since the Bible obviously supports the Christian view of Jesus, Muslims who want to deny the deity of Christ will have to argue that the Gospel has been corrupted. But if the Gospel has been corrupted, why does the Qur’an command Christians to judge by the Gospel? By commanding us to judge by what we find in the Gospel, the Qur’an has inadvertently ordered Christians to reject Islam!

But it gets worse for Muslims. The Qur’an affirms the inspiration and reliability of the Christian Scriptures (3:3-4, 5:47, 5:66, 7:157, 10:94), as well as man’s inability to corrupt God’s Word (6:114-115, 18:27). Muslims therefore cannot reject what the Gospel says, which leaves them with quite a dilemma. If the Gospel is reliable, Islam must be false, since the Gospel presents Jesus as God. Alternatively, if the Gospel is unreliable, Islam must be false, because the Qur’an tells us that the Gospel is the Word of God. Either way, Islam is false, and anyone who is searching for the truth will never find it in the Qu'ran.”

 

 

 

MICROMANAGEMENT – AN OCCUPATIONAL HEALTH & SAFETY ISSUE

 

The Effects of Micromanagement on Employees’ Mental Health

Micromanagement is a common leadership style whereby a manager closely observes and controls the work of employees.

There are 3 major affects caused by micromanagement that are brought upon employees :

STRESS                                                       

Harvard Medical School instructor Jonathan D. Quick co-authored a book titled Preventive Stress Management in Organizations. In it, he says that, “the leadership qualities of ‘bad’ bosses over time exert a heavy toll on employees’ health.” He highlights research showing that a micromanaging boss can lead to a variety of health issues, including chronic stress.

Indeed, if you’ve ever worked for a boss who’s always hovering over you, monitoring your progress, obsessing over minor details, providing you with detailed instructions, and having a talk with you about every mistake you make, you will know that this can really get on your nerves.

Moreover, the stress that this causes can, unfortunately, seep into your personal life. If your manager is giving you a hard time at work, this may make you give your friends, family, and partner a hard time as well. Stress often brings out the worst in us, which can put our most important, personal relationships under strain.

 

LOW SELF-ESTEEM

If you’re always being monitored, ordered around, and criticised in your work, this can end up lowering your self-esteem. You may feel that your manager doesn’t trust you enough, or believe in your abilities enough, in order for you to get on with the task at hand. Their overbearing leadership style can make you feel powerless and infantilised, like a machine taking orders, unable to use your own resources, knowledge, and initiative to figure things out.

Many micromanaging bosses enjoy being very controlling. As is often the case, these controlling tendencies come from a place of insecurity. In order to make them feel better about themselves, micromanaging bosses may put their employees down and treat them disrespectfully.

 

DEPRESSION

In his book, Lost Connections: Uncovering the Real Causes of Depression – and the Unexpected Solutions, author Johann Hari points to the research of Professor Michael Marmot who found that if you go into work and feel you’re controlled without many choices, then you’re much more likely to become depressed (as well as suffer a heart attack). In an interview about the book, Hari said, “Giving people back control over their workplaces is one of the most effective ways to reduce depression.”

If we don’t feel that we have the freedom to make our own decisions to achieve results, then work becomes a lot more meaningless and without purpose. As humans, we intrinsically thirst for meaning and purpose in our work in order to feel valued and fulfilled.

The micromanaging boss may exert excessive control over their employees if they genuinely believe that this is the most effective way to get work done and achieve results. Or perhaps they’ve noticed their supervisor manages in this way and, trusting their authority, presumes this is the best leadership style. But as we can see, micromanagement is not only ineffective; it can also put employees’ mental health at risk. The research into this phenomenon underscores why it’s time for modern work culture to place a much higher value on the autonomy of employees.

 

A serious Occupational Health & Safety and Mental Health issue

A large percentage of employees suffer from mental health issues caused my toxic work environment and micromanagement. Whether we like it or not, it is true and often people deal with such issues on a daily basis and suffer in silence. Even though we are focussed on creating awareness about mental health in general, we can't ignore the fact that micromanagement and toxic work environments can increase the risk of clinical depression. Toxic environment not only can cause depression but high blood pressure, chronic stress and other health problems.

Research shows that micromanagement style is often showcased by insecure, inexperienced, low EQ and big ego, psychopath or narcissist bosses/managers. (Dailymail 2017) Apart from the horrid effect micromanagement can have on the employees mental health, it also causes demotivation and leads to lower job satisfaction for employees. The companies with bad leadership and management face major issues with employee retention.

Lack of trust and autonomy with lack of respect have been rated as the biggest reason for employee's level of stress and demotivation. Simon Sinek says ''we don't quit companies, we quit bosses'', which is true and well said. One great point mentioned by him, is that employees need to feel empowered in their roles to be happy. (Sinek 2014)

For employees, it is important to first spot a micromanager and understand why and what is causing them stress. Certain behaviour such as being disrespected by their bosses or being spoken harshly to, or being judged and questioned at all times, can be some of the triggers for stress and mental imbalance. Here's an interesting article that can help employees recognise the traits of a micromanager:  https://www.leadershipthoughts.com/10-signs-of-micromanagement/

Spotting a micromanager isn't enough. Taking care of your mental health on a daily basis and finding diversions is really important. Micromanagement often crushes spirits and ambitions which can really lead to depression and discouragement. Hence, it's even more important to keep a check on your mental health when dealing with toxic work culture.

While speaking to the counsellors or human resources can help and provide guidance. Here is a very well written article published in Harvard Business Review that provides some interesting ideas on how to stop your boss from micromanaging you: https://hbr.org/2017/03/how-to-tell-your-boss-to-stop-doing-your-job?utm_medium=email&utm_source=newsletter_daily&utm_campaign=mtod&referral=00203

While some companies have established coaching and counselling for managers and employees, we are still far from this being adapted across companies and countries. But, we all need to stand for ourselves to make the world a better place.

 

WHY I AM A ZIONIST

 

Coming from a Judeo-Catholic family is a blessing for me because my Jewish side is much stronger to me even though I tell everyone I have the best of both worlds – Judaism and Catholicism.

 Even though my father allowed me and my siblings to be baptized Catholics, he taught me all about Judaism and the various religious practices.  He was the one who told me that the Old Testament in the Bible is actually the Jewish Torah which I found to be true and today, I have the Torah along with the Jerusalem Bible.

To me, Judaism is more than just a religion, it is a nation, an ethnicity, and a people.

To me, Zionism was a thing long before the creation of the Jewish state and it will remain a thing long after.

To me, being a Zionist, doesn’t mean blindly standing behind all the decisions of the Israeli government. It doesn’t mean pretending Israel is perfect. It is not synonymous with the denial of Palestinian self-determination.

In actuality, being a Zionist means wrestling with the complexities of the Jewish state and of the conflict in general, being a link in the chain of the history of Zionism and most importantly, maintaining that all peoples, like the Jewish people, deserve the right to self-determination.

To be honest, it really frustrates me when I hear the phrase, “Zionism is Racism.”   Zionism is the movement which maintains that the Jewish people have the right to self-determination, nothing more and nothing less. And it is truly disheartening when people condemn that movement, denying the Jewish right to self-determination, while simultaneously advocating for the self-determination of other peoples.

Zionism has a past, a present and a future. Zionism of the past sought to revive, renew and liberate the Jewish state. Zionism of the present seeks to defend the Jewish right to self-determination. And Zionism of the future involves constructively criticizing that Jewish state to enable it to fulfill all that it is destined to be.

 

I am a Zionist.

Hebrew is the language I use to thank the Creator, and also to swear on the road. The Bible does not only contain my history, but also my geography. King Saul went to look for mules on what is today Highway 443, Jonah the Prophet boarded his ship not too far from what is today a Jaffa restaurant, and the balcony where David peeped on Bathsheba must have been bought by some oligarch by now.

 

I am a Zionist.

I think that the State of Israel is not only a place, it is also an idea, and I wholeheartedly believe in the three extra commandments engraved on the wall of the Holocaust museum in Washington: "Thou shalt not be a victim, thou shalt not be a perpetrator, but above all, thou shalt not be a bystander."

 

I am a Zionist.

I am a man of tomorrow but I also live my past. My dynasty includes Moses, Jesus, Maimonides, Sigmund Freud, Karl Marx, Albert Einstein, Woody Allen, Bobby Fischer, Bob Dylan, Franz Kafka, Herzl, and Ben-Gurion. I am part of a tiny persecuted minority that influenced the world more than any other nation. While others invested their energies in war, we had the sense to invest in our minds.

 

I am a Zionist.

My Zionism is natural, just like it is natural for me to be a father of three brilliant kids,  and a son. People who claim that they, and only they, represent the "real Zionism" are ridiculous in my view.

 

I am a Zionist.

Every time an innocent victim dies, I bow my head because once upon a time I was an innocent victim. I have no desire or intention to adopt the moral standards of my enemies. I do not want to be like them. I do not live on my sword; I merely keep it under my pillow.

Zionism is about freedom of speech and freedom of religion; about the right to dissent, to argue, to criticize. Zionism is a messy, feisty, imperfect work-in-progress that can be a liberating model for the rest of the Middle East. Indeed, if Arab countries offered its citizens the same rights and freedoms that Israeli Arabs enjoy in a Zionist country, that alone would represent major progress.

 Today, I am proud to call myself a Zionist.

 

A LOVE WORTH WAITING FOR (Cover)

 

Loving Someone You've Never Met

 

We were raised in a society that frowned upon the immaturity of teenagers and views reckless behavior as a misunderstanding of life and a need for guidance.

So the obvious question that pops up - Is loving someone you never met or seen possible?

That's an interesting question; however, the answer to that question is not as apparent or straightforward. I can entirely see how you can fall in love with someone you've never met.  If you both are pen pals (before the internet came along) or are friends with someone on the internet and chat with them on messenger programs, for example, you would know what I am talking about.   Although, personally, I haven't fallen in love online with anyone, however, I have felt connected in some ways to one girl I knew in my mid-teens whom I have never met face-to-face because we lived in different countries.  Both of us were still in high school at the time.

I was 17 or 18 at the time, when I connected with a girl via exchange of letters (snail mail as we now call it).  We started off as mere pen pals in the 70’s and as several months went by, we both felt attracted toward each other even though we hadn’t met or seen one another and over a period of time, the tone of our exchanges changed from flirty to outright romantic.  I was drawn to her as through our exchange of letters as far as I remember was once a week, she came to be the perfect combination of charisma, kindness and maturity.  And then something happened and the letters stopped.

Since that day, I spent years of my life everyday with a hole in my heart.  I always wanted to meet that person even though I had this feeling that it's kinda hopeless endeavour.

Forty seven years later, I’ve still never met someone who has made me feel quite so much.  It’s hard to know whether it was love or if it is the instinct to crave what you can’t have.   What I do realize, though, is I haven’t been able to feel the same type of love as I did when I was 17 or 18.

Falling in love through letter writing has been going on for hundreds of years.  In what sense does it differ from falling in love the regular way? Is this a good way to fall in love?  How relevant is it to modern lovers?

People generally get attracted to each other based on common ideas, common outlook towards life, common value systems, and similar views on important issues.  If you happen to know someone be it via letters or over the Internet, you can sometimes feel connected if your views match theirs. Also, you might like their sense of humor - this does come through no matter what the medium, whether it's through letters, speech, chat, or text.  So, face-to-face contact isn't as essential in knowing the other person.  One can even argue that not having face-to-face contact can have certain advantages.  You may not judge the other person for their physical looks per se, but may get in touch with them on a deeper emotional level. Consequently, I would think you could theoretically fall in love with someone you've never met in person. I know I cared very deeply for this girl

But, could such a love stand the test of time?  Would such a love overcome the potentially high expectations generated through letters, by an online or virtual personality?  Certain personality traits may not be visible or apparent through letters or in the online domain. Would such a love, then, be able to come to terms with the reality of imperfections?

I’ve done a lot of soul searching and personal research on how can a person develop feelings for another just through letters and through my search for an answer I find there doesn’t seem to be much science or even discussion available on the process of becoming emotionally attached to someone you’ve never met.  Virtually all of what I’ve seen has arisen as a function of Internet dating.  A post by Mark D. White, PhD (“Maybe It’s Just Me, But ...”) on the internet discusses people who start to fall in love with someone they’ve never met, and whom they know only from online communication.  It concludes that, while crucial data on another person can only come from physically meeting them, it is still possible, and even desirable under certain circumstances, to begin the process knowing only what can be gleaned through chats, texts, emails and even regular emails; and that process includes affection - the beginnings, even, of love.

A novel from the 1970s, 84 Charing Cross Road, about a purely epistolary -  i.e.  letter based—friendship, shows that the same sort of thing happened before Facebook, Twitter and Instagram.

Certainly the human imagination is powerful enough to feel affection for people we build solely out of the various data in our head. Novels, after all, are based on this principle—who hasn’t read a book with a character so engaging we feel we know her, or him, and care for that person too? I still feel sad about losing Robert Jordan, in a sabotage attempt in the Spanish Civil War, at the end of Hemingway’s “For Whom the Bell Tolls”.

Online relationships are an improved version of a writing-based relationship. In the new version, the time gap between writing, sending, receiving, and reading has become almost instantaneous - the sender can receive a reply while still in the same state of emotions she was in when she sent the original message.  This is of great emotional significance, as emotions are transitory and involve the urge to act immediately.

Communication through (offline or online) letters appears to be more suitable for romantic communication than phone conversations.  They are typically deeper, and in many cases more sincere.  Sincerity is a great asset to successful personal relationships and is correlated with a higher degree of intimacy.

Although people can more easily be dishonest about themselves in letters, the act of writing encourages people to present a more profound and sincere picture of their true self.  This is especially true if the relationship continues and develops further.

It is often easier to describe your heart in writing while you are alone than it is when you are talking about your feelings in front of another person.  Indeed, self-disclosure in the initial stages of a relationship is often greater in letters than in offline communication.  Moreover, unlike phone calls, letters can be reread again and again and thereby enhance romantic responses.

Romantic letters are usually written when the person is physically alone, but mentally with another person. Sometimes the writer even knows that the letter will not be sent since there is no physical way of doing so (as occurred, for example, during the Holocaust), or the writer is not mentally ready to send it (as its content may seem risky or too revealing).

When we write a letter, we have a sense of being in company, even if we are secluded. When we receive a letter, the feeling that we are not forgotten is prominent as well.

Letter writing as a romantic process was - and, to some extent, still is particularly prevalent during prolonged periods of war, when men are far away from home, and the only way for them to communicate with loved ones is through letters.

Think back to when you had your first taste of love.  Maybe you realize now it wasn’t love, or maybe you haven’t been able to find someone who compares since.  Whatever that memory means to you, I bet you look back on this time with some sense of nostalgia.  The nostalgia comes from a longing for openness and vulnerability we had when we were teenagers.

The younger we are, the greater capacity we have to throw ourselves into love.  This is because we don’t have years of baggage clouding our feelings, and we don’t dodge potential connections based on the fear of getting hurt.

We have all met someone who has come into our lives in the most perfect manner, someone who hit us in our core with a feeling that could not be ignored.  But, society has taught us to brush off these intense feelings because we are young.  We are told our emotions are invalid because we don’t have the wisdom of age to back them up.  I don’t believe this for a second. Teenage love has the ability to be the rawest, most simplified version of love we will ever experience.

The dating world is tough. It scars you, changes you; it makes you start planning the rest of your life with your best friend, a few dogs and a “don’t fuck with me attitude” in order to avoid being hurt again.

But, maybe naivety isn’t as bad as society makes it out to be.  Maybe, it just means that the big, scary world hasn’t hardened us yet.  We are more open to receiving love and showing ourselves honestly. We dig less and trust ourselves a little bit more, knowing who it feels right to be with.

I completely understand the fact our brains are not fully developed when we are teenagers. We are less mature, more emotionally driven and are much more likely to make impulsive decisions. Often, this results in silly relationships that make us cringe as adults.

Not everyone has a life-changing relationship as a teenager, but I do think the ability to feel emotions with less constraint comes with young age.  Aging leads to experience, and experience can lead to intelligence, giving us the ability to rationalize who is good for us and who may screw us over.

We don’t throw ourselves out there as often as we used to, so we may miss some incredible opportunities to interact with someone we wouldn’t have before.

The most heart-pounding relationships aren’t based on a foundation of logic, though. The best ones are formed by the ability to open up to someone who feels "right."

Love has a way of irrationally steering you toward someone you wouldn’t be able to think your way to. And when we’re teenagers, we give into these emotions so easily.  We follow them, trusting them with that 17 or 18 year-old arrogance our parents told us to drop unless we wanted to be grounded for the weekend. We may get hurt from this emotionally-driven confidence, but we are also given the opportunity to learn.

I believe when we are young, we are fully capable of understanding love. What we had wasn’t perfect, but it may never be that innocent again.

Maturity doesn’t mean shit if you don’t know how to tap into that inner 17 – 18 year-old who so desperately wants to find someone who cares about him or her.

That younger version of yourself was clear of the barriers we are now navigating as adults in the dating world. We're searching for someone who seems logically good, rather than someone who feels right.

So, maybe, being young and dumb and in love was actually the smartest, most honest thing we’ve ever done.

 

WHY YOU CAN NEVER FORGET YOUR FIRST LOVE

 

Why is it so hard to forget your first love? Your first love is special because it is the most innocent and pure form of love. No matter how hard you try, you will never stop missing your first love.

Boyfriends and girlfriends in a loving relationship for the first time will forever remember the hugs, cuddles, sweet whispers, long drives, late night conversations, and romantic strolls they had together. Here’s why the beautiful memories of this once-in-a-lifetime experience will linger in your heart and mind for the rest of your life.

  

It is the most innocent love.

One of the core reasons why your first love is so hard to forget is because it is pure and innocent. People don't fall in love for the first time with expectations or malicious intentions. It is a pure attraction, led by the heart and not the mind.

The beginnings of your first love are free of malice and manipulative behavior. The whole world seems beautiful, and life becomes perfect. It is like wearing rose-tinted glasses 24/7, even in your dreams.

This blissful feeling of first love can never be replicated—once innocence is lost on a personal level, it can never be translated in its purest form into another relationship. This is what makes it so special.

 

 It exposes your insecurities.

Your first love and first relationship will expose many of the insecurities you never knew about. For example, your first relationship will be the first time you actually realize what it is like to be a jealous girlfriend or boyfriend.

From jealousy to possessiveness to extreme dependence, your first love is when guys and girls realize how matters of the heart can bring even the strongest down to their knees. The memory of being exposed to your own insecurities for the first time will never go away.

  

It's when you thought that love is forever, and you attached all your hopes and dreams to it.

Guys and girls fall into love for the first time without any assumptions because they have never experienced love before. The puppy love effect makes them believe that this love will last forever.

This sense of lasting love makes you attach all your hopes and dreams to your first relationship. It is like wearing a pair of blinders and focusing all your life's attention and goals to just one thing—your love.

This extreme sense of attachment is hard to break away from. Even after a bitter breakup, you will find it impossible to see yourself living your life without your former significant other.

  

It's the only time you believe in perfect love.

Your first relationship is when you believe that your love is perfect. Your love knows only one language, that which is spoken by your heart. There are no hang-ups, no complications, and no expectations.

This sense of perfectness creates memories that are hard to forget. No matter how old you get, no matter how mature you become, you will always crave this sort of perfection in your relationships.

Once you move on from your first love, it will be disheartening to realize that you will never be able to recreate this type of love again.

  

It is emotionally intense and euphoric.

The sheer excitement of feeling love for the first time will engrave all the sweet memories in your mind forever. On the flip side, your first love is also extremely emotionally intense. The downer after every little fight and argument is exhausting.

This extreme range of emotional highs and lows make your first love a once in a lifetime roller coaster ride that will never be repeated. This is what makes your first love so powerful and intense.

 

It is like any other "first."

Your first love is when you let go and take a dive into the unknown. It is like the memories of all other "firsts" in your life, except that this one is much stronger.

Think of how you will never forget the day when you drove a car for the first time and then multiply that euphoria by a thousand times. Even that may be nowhere near the kind of impact your first love will leave on your mind, making it extremely hard to forget.

  

Your first love is carefree—there are no other responsibilities.

Your first love usually occurs at a young age. You have no spiraling credit card debts, mortgage payments, job insecurities, career problems, family issues, social pressure, or anything else that can make you feel like your life is just waiting to burst apart.

This carefree time was probably when you were a budding teenager, fresh into a relationship with your crush. You had no other responsibilities except to do well in class, which gave you all the time in the world to immerse yourself in your love. Basically, your first love was your full-time job.

As you grow older, your life is burdened with many new responsibilities, year after year. You may never get to experience the absolute and carefree experience of falling in love and enjoying each and every moment of it without having other responsibilities lingering over your head.

This is why the memories of your first love will remain on your mind for the rest of your life—you'll never have such a carefree state of mind again.

 

Your first heartbreak feels earth-shattering.

Just like how the euphoria of falling in love is extreme, so is the subsequent heartbreak. This is the first time you will experience what it feels to have your heart broken. This heart-shattering first breakup is amplified into an emotionally terrorizing fireball, including:

1.  The agonizing feeling of having your trust broken for the first time
2.  The painful sense of regret
3. The haunting feeling of having bared your insecurities to someone for the first time in life
4. The false hope that everything will be okay

  

The memory of your first love is tinged with painful regret.

If love was a poker game, your first love could be described as going all in. Peaking your levels of happiness will weaken your sense of judgment and make it hard to draw boundaries. This makes you do stupid things, including committing too early, putting your hopes into one person, getting intimate even if you are not sure, and more.

All these things snowball into a burden of regret after your first love falls apart. Why did I trust her with all my heart? Why didn't I see that she was cheating on me? These are just some of the elements of the heart-wrenching regret that ensues after the breakup.